


Rhyme & Reason

by TC9078



Category: Dragon Ball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-05-27 23:37:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15035810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TC9078/pseuds/TC9078
Summary: For years, Kakarot has lived day-to-day in the forests of Mount Paozu, unable to work on his mission or interact with anyone. Until one day, a young girl named Bulma arrived, searching for a collection of jewels that can grant any wish, and he found his world completely turned on its head as he is thrust into a world completely unlike anything he'd ever expected.





	1. Bulma

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna post this chapter here to see if people like the idea. If they do, I'll post the rest of it. If not, well, at least I tried.

Deep in the forests of Mount Paozu, within a small shrine like house, a small boy slept in his bed. However, it was not a restful slumber. The boy's head was caked in sweat, and he tossed and turned all over, whimpering in his sleep. Suddenly, his eyes shot open. He sat up, panting heavily as he scanned his surroundings. His onyx eyes softened slightly upon realizing that there was no danger, and his muscles relaxed.

The boy tossed off his blankets and climbed off his canopied bed. The boy stood, before staring at the gem his Master had left him before his death. The dream had come again. It had kept coming ever since his Master's death. He didn't understand why it kept coming, or why it kept troubling him so.

"How can a nightmare continuously fool me. It's disgraceful," the boy said to nothing. He sighed and grabbed his small red pole, tying it around his shoulder, before walking out the door to see the cut of wood he had dragged home in the dead of night before he had slept. It was not a big deal, he had just planned on cutting it later. But to this boy, it only served to remind him of his failures.

"I hate this!" he yelled, tossing the wood in the air, before kicking it dead in the middle, splitting it into even chunks that fell on the ground around him.  _I'm twelve years old! I should be done with this by now! Raditz was_ _finished_ _with his first mission b_ _y the time he was_ _four! Yet here I am, no closer to finishing my mission then when I arrived!_ he screamed in his mind. Yet this world was obviously much more dangerous than the one his brother had encountered. That fact was obvious by the fact that he had a minder.

She wasn't around often, at least not since Gohan had died. Whenever she was there, she was always distant, and the most frequent thing he heard from her was, "when are you going to continue your mission, Kakarot?" She refused to teach him anything, and almost never answered his questions either. Whenever she looked at him, she looked sad. He hated it most because he knew she was his mother. All of the stories that Gohan had read him, or had in his collection, portrayed mothers as nurturing figures, not distant ones who were almost never around.

As Kakarot thought on this, he came across the apple tree that he often looted for food whenever he needed it. He grabbed an apple and started eating it. He absentmindedly wondered what he would eat today. It's not like there was much else to do. He didn't really live anymore, he just existed, and went wherever life bored him into. He didn't have a benchmark to see how strong he was, and so he just kept training. It was losing it's luster.  _Isn't that funny? A Saiyan getting tired of training._ He tossed the core behind him, laughing all the while.  _I really have been here too long._  Suddenly, an orange blur passed in front of his face. Kakarot let go of the branch, letting his tail flip him upside-down as he watched the tiger jump over him.

 _Well, I guess that's my lunch._ he thought, letting go of the branch and dropping to the ground. He drew his power pole off of his back and readied it for the strike. The tiger lunged at him again. Kakarot sidestepped and slammed the pole into the back of the tiger's neck. A  _ **s** **nap**_  sounded through the air as the beast fell to the ground, unmoving.  _So, that's my meat for tonight. A bit lean, but it works._ He grabbed his game and began the walk home.

* * *

Kakarot was almost home when he heard a loud whirring sound coming from up the dirt path. He looked in that direction, and saw a dust cloud coming toward him. He tried to move out of the way, but just as he was doing so, a large metal object collided with him, sending him spinning through the air, until he landed face first on the ground.

* * *

A girl with braided purple hair poked her head out the car, slightly freaking out. "Oh god, is he dead?!" she screeched.  _Brilliant job, Bulma. You go off on a quest to wish for a lifetime supply of strawberries and you end up killing a kid._ She had started her journey in North City and traveled around the Eastern Part of the continent to get here and get the next Dragon Ball, and of course something bad would happen. It's just like Tights warned her, these kinds of quests often end up going bad for one reason or another! But then again, her sister always hung out with that weird alien cop, so it's- Bulma stopped once the boy stood up again.

 _Oh good, he's ooo-gaaaah! What is he doing?!_  The boy extended a red pole and swung at the car, sending it flying into the air before landing on its right side. The boy followed up by continuing to pound away at it with his pole. Not exactly in her right mind, Bulma grabbed her pistol and shoved her head out the broken window, firing as fast as she could at the wild child. The child crashed to the ground on his back before standing up again.

"What the hell was that?!" he screamed.

"You... you shouldn't be alive kid!" Bulma yelled back.

The boy smiled, before holding out his pole in front of him. "Your weapons are useless against my might. Now I shall end your existence right here, monster!"

"Monster?!" she screamed, tossing her gun through the air and waving her arms. Might not have been safe, but she wasn't really thinking right now. "I'm not a monster! I'm a human! Just like you!"

"Human?" he asked, mostly to himself. "But your hair..." he was interrupted by a loud bang. Her gun must have landed and gone off. Bulma sighed and climbed out of her car, landing on the ground.

"See? I'm not a monster, I won't bite." she said. The boy walked up to her and circled her. He stood on her right and lifted up her dress with his pole briefly.

"Shame on you! What do you think you're doing?!" she screamed, slapping away his pole.

"Checking to see if you had a tail." he said, as if it were obvious. She noticed he had exactly that. "My Master told me that if I met a girl that I should be nice, and not kill them."

"Shouldn't that be obvious?" she mumbled, slightly scared. "Is your Master around here?"

"No, he died a long time ago." he said, walking over to her car. "Oh, if you're not a monster, than this is probably a piece of technology used for transportation."

"Um... yeah, we call it a car." she replied deadpan.

"So, does that mean that you're from the big city?" he asked, curious.

"If you mean Orange Star, then no. I'm from West City, on the other side of the world." she replied.

"Great!" he grabbed his tiger by the tail. "Follow me! I'll give you shelter and some food, and we may discuss your city, its people, and its defenses."

She quickly pulled out her radar and pressed the button. The Dragon Ball was located not too far in front of her, so it was easy to infer that the kid was in possession of it.  _If I just follow him, I can easily take my third one. I'll have my lifetime supply of strawberries in no time! I'll show you, sis! I really can do this!_ She followed after the boy.

"So. We're having... tiger for lunch. What's on your agenda?" She asked, continuing to look around at the heavy forest around the path upon which they walked.

"Were you not paying attention? We can eat and discuss various matters. If you wish, you can watch my exercises, I am a bit of a Martial Artist." He explained, sounding incredibly bored, even closing his eyes and slumping when saying it.  _Oh right, that reminds me, I need to write Dr. Norimaki to thank him for the assistance in finding out these legends._ The two walked in silence for some time, occasionally having to dodge roots laying around a road that likely hadn't been used in decades.

"Hey, kid. Do you have a name?" Bulma asked. It was always possible that this boy didn't have a name, many children that grew up far from civilization either don't have one or don't remember what theirs was.

"Daikyō Kakarotto, I'm not from this planet." Kakarot replied. "However, you may just call me Kakarot. What's yours?"

"Huh... me?" she asked. He nodded in affirmative. "Bulma." Then she thought about what he said. "Wait, what was that about you being from another planet?"

The boy stopped, as if realizing his mistake. He simply turned around and gave a menacing stare. "I'm sorry, do you reveal your deepest and darkest secrets to someone that you just met?"

"Um... no". She replied. The boy nodded and continued on the path. The trees began to become fewer and the ground was getting lighter in colour, obviously more traveled upon.

"Nice name, by the way." Kakarot stated in deadpan.

"Hey! Bulma happens to be quite elegant!"  _No, it really isn't. I'm named after underwear; there is nothing elegant about that._ "It's certainly better than Kakarot."  _That I do mean._ After walking for several more minutes, the forest finally cleared into a beautiful field, with a small house in the middle that almost looked like a shrine. Firewood was neatly stacked off to the side of the door, and otherwise, there seemed to be very little around it. It was... actually rather nice. Out in the wilderness, away from all the hustle-bustle of the big cities... "Nice little house you got there, kid."

"Thanks," he replied briefly, "it was my Master's." He looked at the house as if noticing something was off. "One moment." He dropped the tiger and ran over to the doors of the house, which he thrust inward. He stood there in the doorway, listening. Bulma looked around and saw a nice bed, several books, especially a large one in the middle that looked like it had lost most of the binding.

However, in the middle of the room, her eyes struck gold. Or, rather, orange. For in the middle of the room lay a Dragon Ball. A smile slowly made its way across her face. She quickly ran forward and picked up the Dragon Ball. Quickly examining it, she found it to be the Four-Star Ball.

"Oi!" Kakarot yelled, walking right up to her. "Put my Master's orange jewel back!"

"Orange Jewel?" Bulma asked, perplexed.  _Is that really what he calls the Dragon Ball_? However, before she could voice this thought, he had snatched the jewel away. He shot her a look of indignation. Bulma sighed and pulled out her two Dragon Balls from her satchel and placed them on the table. Kakarot looked even more confused than before. Resigning herself, Bulma began to tell him about the Dragon Balls.


	2. The Journey Begins

Somewhere in the world, a door opened, illuminating a dark dungeon, with the armour of the long dead guards acting like torches in the moonlight. Three figures stepped into the room: a black clad woman with dark hair, an anthropomorphic orange dog dressed in a purple ninja outfit, and a short blue skinned imp dressed in a colourful robe and hat. The trio calmly strode forward into the now-illuminated room and up the path leading to the altar in the back... well, mostly calmly.   


"Sir... it truly is dark in here. I don't think this place has seen the light in at least the past century." said the dog.  


"Quiet, Shu!" snapped the imp as he turned to look at the orange gem sitting on the altar. He carefully walked up the stairs to the altar upon which it sat, before carefully picking it up and walking back to the others. "In any case, that hardly matters now; I'm ready to make my wish!"  


The woman cleared her throat. "Emperor Pilaf, sire."

 

"What is it Mai? I'm kinda in the middle of something here!" Pilaf yelled.  


"My apologies, sire, but you can't make a wish with just one Dragon Ball. You need to collect all seven of them." Mai explained.  


"You mean... we have to collect more of them?" Pilaf asked.  


"Yes. But once they are collected, the Eternal Dragon will come forth for the sole purpose of granting your wish." Mai explained.  


"Well, we do have a radar back at the castle. I suppose I can do a bit more searching. Then I will wish to _**RULE THE WORLD!**_ " Pilaf declared. A silent " _of course_ " sigh passed between Mai and Shu, as they followed the short little Emperor out of the room.

* * *

"I see," Kakarot remarked. "That is a very... interesting power." Bulma looked down at him and saw the smile on his face. It was the trademark smile of when someone was about to do something very bad, but _they'll_ enjoy it. "So... you can wish for **anything**?"

 

It took her a moment to realize that he had asked her a question. "Oh, um, yes." She was suddenly getting a feeling that it had been a terrible idea to come here. Then her mind fully acknowleged his smile. _I'm going to die. This kid is going to kill me, take my Dragon Balls, and probably kill a ton of people. This is the worst; I don't wanna die like this! I've never even kissed anyone!_ Her panicked thoughts were interrupted by the very person causing her to panic.  


"You can't have it, if that's what you were going to ask," Kakarot said. That snapped Bulma out of her panicked state instantly.  


"But... but why not?! You're not exactly going to use it," Bulma observed. _If he doesn't give it to me, I'm gonna have_ _a_ _problem...  
_

"I'm not gonna give you my Master's prized possession just on a whim," Kakarot answered. _Okay, I can understand that, really. It's not like I'd give away a prized heirloom to someone just because they were collecting it. But at the same time... I really need that Dragon Ball._ _But what can I... no, I won't... but I really... ugh! Why do I have such qualms now?!  
_

Resigning herself, Bulma forced a smile at the boy. "I get it, I know what you want." _Here goes nothing._ She pulled aside a part of her dress and showed part of her underwear to Kakarot. "If you give it to me, I'll let you touch it." _Why did I say that?! Ugh, I'm a genius but I can say the wrong things at the wrong time.  
_

Kakarot just stared, unmoved. "How depraved is this race that they're selling out their bodies for gems of dubious value?" he deadpanned.  


_Dubious value, my ass._ "I spent a good half a year researching these things! Their value is not dubious!" Bulma shouted. _I just finished explaining this to him!  
_

Kakarot started to retort. "All you told me was a-" but then he suddenly stopped and looked to the door. Bulma looked to the same spot as him, but she saw nothing except dust from the wind. Suddenly, Kakarot shot out the door.

R&R

_What is she doing here?_ Kakarot thought frantically as he ran into the clearing. She always showed up at the most inconvenient time imaginable. After circling around the back of the house, he looked in all directions to try and spot her. However, the signature had disappeared. Kakarot sighed in relief, hoping it was just a false alarm. He turned on his heel, only to crash directly into the last person he wanted to see.  


She just stood there with her arms crossed. She wore battle armour shaped like a dress, and had her tail wrapped tightly around her waist. Her onyx eyes were locked onto his, exact copies staring at each other. After a brief stare-off, she sighed and let her arms down. "Kakarot," she began, "why are you still just here?"  


He looked down at the ground. _I'm about to get the standard lecture about how I'm failing, and need to get out there and start working on my mission. I understand that I'm failing, I just wish I had a good way of knowing where to start... wait a second!_ "I was just getting ready to leave," he replied smiling. _Perfect! Bulma may be a bit annoying, but she has provided me with the perfect opportunity to start my mission!  
_

His mother did a double-take, clearly not expecting that response. "Wait, after all this time, you're actually getting ready to leave?" _Did she really think that I was just going to sit on my hands here forever? I was so incredibly bored that I probably would have left sooner or later, anyway.  
_

"Yep, an earthling came by. She was looking for Gohan's gem. I'm gonna go with her to see this world," he said. Her normally stern face softened, and she even cracked a smile.  


"Well, good luck to you, then," she said, before floating off the ground and flying off into the distance. Her calm and happy demeanor had creeped Kakarot out more than anything. If there was one thing that Daikyō Gine Onio was not, it was happy. Despite this, he ran back into the house, where Bulma was still sitting, staring at the door.  


"I'm coming with you," he stated. Bulma looked at him carefully, seeming to size him up.  


"Why?"  


He at least knew the answer to this. "I've lived here my entire life, and never left this mountain. I want to go out and see the world." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Besides, there are many predators and other dangerous creatures that live in this area."  


"W-What kind of predators?" she stammered.  


"Pterodactyls, tigers, and other assorted animals like them. That's not even talking about the many bandits that inhabit the southern part of this region, many of which happen to be beastmen. Frankly, I'm surprised you even made it here at all without encountering any of them." Kakarot explained.  


"Um... then do you want to come along as a bodyguard?" she asked.  


"I mean, if that's what you want to call me, then sure," he said. "Just let me keep my Dragon Ball, and I'll come with you."  


She seemed deep in thought for a few moments. However, after some deliberation, she smiled brightly. "Okay! You can come with me!" she said. He smiled back at her. _Too easy._ _As_ _thanks,_ _I'll kill you last,_ _Bulma._ She jogged out the door and turned around.   


"Come on!" she called and waved. _Wow, she is eager to leave immediately._ Kakarot grabbed a small bag to hold his Dragon Ball in, stuffed it in, and tied it to his belt. As he tied his power pole back onto his body, he truly contemplated what he was doing. He was finally leaving this mountain that he'd lived on for ten years, to finally begin the mission that he had been assigned. Yet at the same time... just the fact that it was a change, something new, was something that warmed his cold heart, if only for a moment.  


Kakarot walked outside to find Bulma glaring at him. "Well that took you long enough!" she yelled.  


"Do you really want to yell at the guy who can break your bones as easily as he can look at them?" he asked deadpan.  


"Yeah, yeah. Be as histrionic as you want," she muttered.  


"In any case," Kakarot said, "How are we going to find the Dragon Balls anyway? Do you have a way of finding them?"  


"Yep!" Bulma said, voice clearly full of pride. She reached into her satchel and pulled out a small device and held it to him. "This is my Dragon Ball Locator. Though, I always just call it my Dragon Radar. I just press this," she pressed the button on the top, "and it shows where all the Dragon Balls are!"  


There were, like she had said, seven blips on the radar. _So, one is to the..._ Kakarot looked up at the sky to check direction, _s_ _outh, and three are to the west, and the rest are right here with us._ "How far away is it and how do we get there?"  


She studied the radar while tapping her cheek. "About 1400 kilometers to the south is the nearest one. We can't exactly walk that far." She grabbed out a small case from inside her satchel and began inspecting it.  


"So... how do you expect us to get there? I can't fly," Kakarot noted.   


"Of course you can't, people can't fly," Bulma said offhandedly, not even looking up. Kakarot silently facepalmed. _Wow._ _This planet is even more of a backwater than I thought. I almost feel bad. Almost.  
_

Bulma pulled out a small capsule from the case, pressing the button on top and tossing it. The capsule exploded into smoke, before revealing a small two-wheeled vehicle where it once was. Kakarot rubbed his eyes to ensure he wasn't seeing things. _Wait... so this race cannot fly,_ _and seems to be one of the weakest in the cosmos;_ _yet they somehow managed to solve_ _either atomic compression or pocket dimensions and store basically anything inside a tiny capsule?!_ _How did-  
_

"Come on, Kakarot! Hop on behind me!" Bulma called. Kakarot obliged, climbing onto the vehicle behind her and holding on to her. "Hold on!" she yelled as she flexed her wrist, sending the vehicle charging forward. _Huh, this isn't too bad._ _It certainly moves faster than any speed I can run._ Kakarot looked around and saw the trees slowly wearing thin as they exited the forest onto the plains. _Off into the world I go._

R&R

The woman looked down as the vehicle sped away up the dirt road. Despite the fact that she could easily outpace them if she chose to, she remained stationary in the air, watching the bike go. _Kakarot... please find something. I don't care what it is, but find something to love and cherish on this world. Something that will make you not want to destroy it._ _I hope you will forgive me_ _for all this time_ _, my son. I've never been a good warrior; but I know you will be just as great as your father, if not greater._ _Travel, learn to love, get stronger._

R&R

Bulma was absolutely on top of the world. Not only had she gotten a third Dragon Ball with little to no effort, but she had gained a ridiculously strong companion who could act as a bodyguard if things got really bad. And since they were in the sticks, it could easily get that way. He had mentioned bandits, after all. _I really should have asked Dr. Norimaki to let me take his sister along, she_ _beat up those bank robbers while blindfolded. I doubt this kid has anything_ _ **that**_ _spectacular up his non-existant sleeves._ _But then again, he busted up my car, so maybe he co-._ Her thoughts were immediately interrupted as her lack of focus led to her speeding off a hill and flying through the air for a good seven seconds. The motorcycle hit the ground as Bulma slammed on the breaks as hard as she could until the bike came to a full stop.  


"Bulma, you seem to have a severe lack of control over this thing," Kakarot remarked. _This kid is going to be the death of me._ As she finally came to terms with the fact that, yes, she had almost crashed, and yes, she needed to pay more attention, it dawned on her that she really needed to pee. She hopped off the bike and hit the kickstand down.  


"Kakarot, mind waiting here for a second? I need to make a pit stop," she said lightly. Kakarot seemed to be staring into the distance behind her, and took a few seconds to respond.  


"I'm not sure that's the best idea Bulma, maybe I should-" he started.  


"Oh no you don't! You stay right there you little pervert!" she screamed, running off behind the rock.

* * *

 

Kakarot simply stared at where Bulma had run off too. He had seen the pterodactyl swoop down behind the rock, and tried to warn her, but she thought he was trying to perv on her. _Well, she'll want my help soon. Five, Four, Three, Two, O-._ "KAKAROT! GET OVER HERE!" _And right on cue._ He ran over to the rock. Sure enough, the dinosaur had Bulma wrapped in it's claws. Kakarot sighed, and pulled out his weapon.  


"Power Pole, extend!" he called, extending the pole and bringing it down on the dinosaur's neck. The snapping of the creature's neck sounded loud and clear as Bulma fell from the now limp claws. "Power Pole, retract!" The pole retracted to its normal size as he put it away. Bulma just stared at him.  


"You... saved me," she said. "Thanks," she added with a smile. Kakarot felt his heart warm a bit. Finally, someone appreciated him and wasn't just trying to change him or push him into something. But at the same time, Kakarot didn't want to show any kind of weakness.  
  
"I didn't do it for you," he said. "If you die, I have no way of finding the Dragon Balls. I can't exactly read the Dragon Radar."  


Bulma's smile didn't waver one bit. "Yeah, yeah okay," she replied, clearly not believing him. That was fine with him, she didn't have to. Kakarot simply walked back around the rock to the motorcycle. About 30 seconds later, Bulma came back, and the two sped off again. This time however, Bulma was glaring at Kakarot noticeably less often.


	3. The Turtle and His Hermit

Following the incident with the Pterodactyl, Bulma had proven much more tolerable to travel with. She no longer glared at him for holding onto her too tight, she simply let him know. In addition, she hadn’t glared at him much at all since then. Unfortunately, the traveling also made Kakarot incredibly hungry. He had seen several creatures wandering around that seemed edible, but Bulma had consistently told him not to get off the motorcycle. He had obliged, unwilling to be left behind in unfamiliar territory.

When the sun started to go down, Bulma drove the motorcycle into a clearing and hit down the kickstand. She then got off and walked off the road. Kakarot followed suit.

"So, are we going to camp here tonight?" Kakarot asked.

Bulma groaned in response. "I'm a delicate flower, there's no need to live like savages by sleeping on the ground." 

Kakarot chose to ignore that vague insult. "Then what do we do? It's not like there are any houses around here," he said. 

"Capsules!" Bulma said. She grabbed out her case and popped it open. 

"Wait, your capsules even have houses inside them?" Kakarot asked in disbelief. 

"Yep! Now back up a bit, I'm gonna put it right over there!" she called. Bulma activated the capsule and tossed it into the field. After a loud pop and smoke, in the place of the capsule was a round white house. "Now that just looks downright cozy. Way better than a tent. Come on Kakarot." 

Tentatively, Kakarot followed her into the small house. She pressed a button and the whole room lit up. Kakarot stared around the room, skeptical of what he was seeing. _Artificial lighting? I haven't seen that since... since..._ Kakarot closed his eyes and remembered.

* * *

_The small child looked up from his cot, at the staring faces of those around him in a brightly lit room. Looking down at him were a young lady with shoulder length hair and a boy with waist-length hair._

_"He looks just like Father and Nini," the boy said. "What's his name?"_  

 _"Kakarotto," the woman replied._  

 _"Kakarotto," the boy repeated, leaning over the infant. "So he'll be called Kakarot, then. Will he be big enough to spar with, Mother?"_  

 _"Of course he will, Raditz. He's just a newborn now. He'll be big enough to spar with sooner than you'll know."_  

 _Some time later, the woman had left, and the boy was left with his little brother. He walked to the door and pressed the button next to it, shutting off the light. The moment little Kakarot began to cry, he quickly flicked the light back on. Once the light came back on, the small child giggled. Raditz flicked it on and off a few more times, causing the child to laugh freely and happily. He walked over to the infant and picked him up."It's the job of the elder brother to watch over the younger one." he said to the baby. "I'll have to go on my next mission soon. Once you're old enough, I'll bring you with me, baby brother. You'll learn to fight beside me, just as our father did with our uncles, Kakarot."_  

The memory faded with a red planet cracking and exploding, just as it always did in his nightmares. Kakarot was trying his best to hold back his tears. "Nii-san," he sobbed softly. Kakarot hated remembering it. All it served to remind him of was of the harsh reality that he lived in. He was alone, trapped on an alien world. His mother never showed him any affection... the only thing that mattered to her was his mission. He didn't even have a home to even return to once that was done. His father had died with their planet, and his brother was probably dead, too. He had nothing, no one. 

"Ew, Kakarot, you smell." Bulma said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "You need to take a bath before dinner." 

Kakarot looked up at her in confusion. "What's a bath?" he asked. Bulma promptly did a double take. 

"You've got to be kidding me... you don't know what a bath is? That's disgusting!" she yelled. 

Bulma sat on a stool in front of the bathtub. Of course, that kid has no idea what a bath is, this is just my luck. "Kakarot, hop into the tub here." she called. The boy looked apprehensive at first, but then did as he was told, hopping over the side and sitting down in the tub. Bulma turned the knob and soaked the small boy down with the shower head, before rubbing some shampoo in his hair. 

"Bulma, what's this stuff your rubbing in my hair? It's burning my eyes." Kakarot whined. 

"It's called shampoo, it cleans your hair. You should count yourself lucky, you're being washed off by a pretty girl like me. I don't exactly do this for everyone," she said. She sprayed his hair with the water and washed all the shampoo off. "There, much better!" she stated, delighted at her handiwork, since Kakarot's hair was no longer sticking up everywhere. "Turn to the right, Kakarot, I'm gonna scrub off your back for you." He obliged. She scrubbed off the upper part of his back before coming to his tail. She lightly grabbed it and held it up. 

"You actually attached this accessory right to your butt?" she asked. 

"It's not an accessory," Kakarot replied. To show her, he waved his tail around. _I really should be phased by this... but I've seen far weirder. Wait... I think I saw a woman with a tail working at a bar out in space once! I'll have to ask Tights to confirm, I don't remember that trip very well. Damn it, I wish I had been a bit older for that trip, it would have saved me a bunch of trouble!_ She allowed Kakarot to finish washing himself off, and then washed herself off. Following that, she grabbed some bread and ham out of her little fridge and set it on the table. Kakarot ate, but after it was all gone, he still complained of being hungry. 

"Look, kid," she said, "if you're still hungry, then take your extending stick there and go catch yourself something to eat. Just don't get yourself hurt." 

Kakarot glanced back at her. "It's called the Power Pole," he said simply, before walking out the door. He didn't come back for about an hour, but he came back stating that he had eaten and felt full. Bulma had been in the restroom brushing her teeth. Once she finished, she laid out a blanket for him to sleep on. Shortly after he'd laid down, Bulma recalled her thoughts on his tail. 

"Say, Kakarot," she began."Are there others like you? Like, people with tails?" I really hope he answers me, my curiosity is going to murder me otherwise. He could be anything from an alien to a science experiment gone horribly wrong! 

Kakarot's face fell. He turned to her, looking incredibly wistful. It made her feel bad, she thought she was about to make him cry. "There were," he said. Kakarot said nothing else, he simply laid down and turned away from her to sleep. Damn it! That does nothing to satisfy my curiosity! I should have outright asked if he was an alien! That's what I really wanted to know. There was nothing she could do about it now, so she simply closed her eyes and let sleep come.

* * *

Gine was happy to finally have a chance to breathe. With Kakarot off on his little adventure, she could stop worrying about him. She also didn't have to try setting an example, and let her tail hang freely behind her. The boy was a mess and easily the hardest challenge she'd ever faced raising, far worse than his brother. _Maybe that's why he's so endearing. Raditz was normal, Kakarot is... I don't quite know, but this planet has influenced him, whether he likes that or not. He might not even recognize that fact, yet. But he will, eventually. That girl seems like she's perfect for keeping a Saiyan under control._  

It was at that point that Gine realized that she had no idea which direction the two had gone in. _I don't want to spend too much time looking for them and getting lost... I guess I have to use it._ Reluctantly, Gine pulled her green scouter out of her armour and placed it over her eye. _Glad I removed the long-range communication on this thing years ago._ She pressed the button and scanned around. Within minutes, the Power Levels of 15 and 3 were registered. Gine sighed, relieved that she didn't have to spend days looking for them. But no sooner had her relief come than another power level appeared on the map. _170...290... 450..._ It just kept rising as she watched. _700, 890, 1050!?_ _What... there is no way an Earthling could be that strong!_ Suddenly, the power dropped off. _What the hell could that have been?_ Curiosity getting the better of her, she floated up into the air and flew in the direction of the power level. _I'm likely getting myself into trouble again... I'll never learn, will I?_ She chuckled to herself. At least on this planet, there was no one strong enough to give her any trouble.

* * *

The nightmare came again that night, the first time it had ever come twice in a row. But it was somehow even worse than usual. This time, when the fireball hit the surface of his planet, he felt he could hear the screams of his dying race in his mind. Men, women, children... the screams echoing loudly... then a flash of light... and his home and race were gone. But even after the planet exploded, the screams didn't stop. 

Kakarot woke up in a cold sweat, barely managing to not scream. He managed to calm himself and slow his breathing in time before he lost it. Losing it now... I don't even want to think about it. His Master had still been alive last time he'd lost control, and it had taken both him and his mother to get Kakarot back under control again. He had created an entire forest clearing in his emotional state that time. 

As he got his emotional state under control, he looked over to the futon, where Bulma still lay asleep. _Why did she choose to bring me along? She can't possibly know what I am; to her I'd just be a strange boy with a tail, not a warrior from the stars with a mission to destroy her world. I didn't save her until later... so why did she bring me along? Wait... why did I save her again?_ He thought back to when he broke the pterodactyl's neck. What had his reasoning been for saving her? He didn't even remember. _I hate not understanding, and I hate that I remember all the wrong things!_  

He stood up and walked over to the window. Looking out at the clearing, the sun had risen into the sky, and they could likely make good progress in the next day. Yet Bulma was still asleep, as if it were still the dead of night. Hmm... I wonder what will wake her up quickly. Suddenly, an idea came to Kakarot. "Bulma!" he called. "The Dragon Balls are gone!" 

Instantly, Bulma was out of bed, screaming and rushing over to the table where the Dragon Balls lay, exactly where they had left them the previous night. Seeing them there, she turned and glared at her companion, who was laughing at her expense. "That's not funny, Kakarot!" she yelled. 

"No, but your face was," he replied. "In any case, it woke you up, which was my goal. Get dressed, we have a great day ahead of us!" Or at least, that was what he had thought she would do. Instead, she spent an exorbitant amount of time washing her hair with that shampoo, then drying it with some kind of air blower while running a teethed piece of plastic through it. 

Exasperated, Kakarot just decided to go outside "Bulma!" he called out. "I'm just going outside. Hurry up! If you move any slower, you're liable to transform into a turtle!" 

"Shut up kid!" she shot back. He didn't really care, he just ran out the door. Kakarot stretched, then ran over to a large rock. This one ought to do. He wrapped his arms around the rock and lifted it into the air. Kakarot tried to break it, but it resisted. He grit his teeth and continued squeezing as hard as he could, until the rock finally shattered under his strength. I'm so weak, I can't even break a rock easily. He didn't know why all these feelings had come back after so long of not being there. The feelings had gone away... but now they seemed to be back. He thought as to why they were.

_"Are there others like you, Kakarot?"_

It was Bulma. She had brought everything that he had been buried deep within him right back to the surface with that single damned question. The memories were bad enough when he wasn't forced to think about them! But instead, she reminded him of the others of his race, and how weak he was compared to them. Eager to force himself to forget, Kakarot ran over the next biggest rock he could see, grabbed it, and lifted it up. 

"Woah, Woah!" the rock yelled. _Wait, what? Am I dreaming? Did Bulma knock me out for that joke? No, she's too weak, a punch from her would tickle at worst. So... why did-_ Kakarot looked more closely at the rock in his hands, his previous musings forgotten briefly. Upon closer inspection he realized it wasn't a rock at all: it was a turtle. Sheepishly, Kakarot dropped the turtle. 

"That's a new one," the turtle said. 

"I'll bet." Kakarot agreed. "What are you doing all the way out here? The river's like seven miles that way." He pointed in the direction that he and Bulma had driven from. 

"Before I answer that... could I have some saltwater?"the turtle asked. Kakarot blinked. _A sea turtle? Why would one be this far inland? I need some answers... but first._  

"Bulma!" he called. A crash sounded from inside, and about 15 seconds later, she opened the door and poked her head out, her purple hair falling loosely from her shoulders. 

"What do you want, Kakarot? I'm almost done with my hair!" she yelled. _What is her obsession with her hair? I think it looks just fine._  

Kakarot pointed at the turtle. "I found a turtle, he's asking for some seawater before he'll talk. Could you oblige him? I'd like to hear what he has to say." Bulma glared at him before sighing. The turtle chose that moment to speak up. 

"Excuse me, but can I get some seaweed, too?" the turtle asked. 

"Sorry, we don't have seaweed," she replied. "But I'll grab some saltwater, one moment." Bulma disappeared into the house, and Kakarot heard the sound of running water, before Bulma came back with a metal bucket. "Here you go." The turtle immediately rushed to the bucket and began guzzling the water. How long has the turtle been out of the water? I'm surprised it hasn't died by now. 

"Thank you very much," the turtle said upon finishing his drink. "The truth is... I'm Kame." 

"We can see that you are a turtle!" Bulma yelled at him _. Wait, was that Galactic Common? I thought no one spoke that on this backwater! But Bulma seems to have translated it instantly... What is going on with this world?!_  

He continued, unfettered. "I was gathering mushrooms, and I got lost. I've been trying to find my way back to the sea for a year now." _A year?! That's... 549 days? No, no, Earth year. 366? About that, yeah._  

"You're trying to get to the sea?" Bulma asked. She quickly ran back inside and came back with a map. "Bad news for you, turtle. The sea is 120 kilometers to the south." 

"120?! Gosh, that'll take me forever," the turtle said. _South... hmm..._  

"We can take you there, Turtle," Kakarot offered. 

"You mean it?!" Turtle said, excited. Bulma shot him a look of annoyance. 

"Kakarot, we hardly have time for this!" she said. I knew she'd say that. But I think she's forgetting something. 

"Isn't the next Dragon Ball in that direction?" Kakarot asked rhetorically. _I know it is. Now to see if she does._ Bulma ran inside again and came back out with the Dragon Radar, checking it carefully.

"Well, whaddya know. It's in that direction, too," Bulma said. "Good catch, kid. I would have missed that." _How the hell did she find any of them on her own?_

"So? Can we head down there, drop the turtle, and grab the Dragon Ball?" Kakarot asked. _I already know she'll say yes. But judging by how she's acted thus far, my phrasing should make it seem like she's the one in control._

"Of course! Let me just get dressed, m'kay?" Bulma said as she walked back inside. She came back out around 10 minutes later dressed in a black jacket, khakis, and riding boots. In her hand she had the Dragon Radar and Kakarot's bag containing the four-star-ball. She had re-braided her hair into the same style it had been the previous day, red ribbon and all. She tossed the bag to him and slid open a panel next to the door. She pressed a button and the house instantly turned back into a capsule. She put the capsule back in her case and unloaded her motorcycle. "Kakarot, you carry the turtle. I don't have any cars that we can use, so I'll just drive next to you. It shouldn't take us very long to get to the shore."

Kakarot nodded and hoisted the turtle up onto his shoulders. _Why is she being so complaisant? She was not like this yesterday._ He continued to contemplate this as they headed along the road, conveniently distracting him from his earlier brooding. The two went across the plains as the day wore on, with little landscape around for them to see.

Bulma complained, much to Kakarot's shock, very little on the trip, and then only about the temperature. To be fair, it was much warmer that day than it was typically. Must be this planet's warm season. Hope it doesn't get too hot. The two continued following the road until it reached a small pass between two cliffs.

"Bulma," Kakarot stated, "this is a textbook example of a trap. I can almost guarantee some kind of bandit will screw with us here." While he said 'almost guarantee,' Kakarot knew that there was someone there. It was such an obvious ambush point. There were probably weapons buried there from armies ambushed in the past. _Maybe not even buried, considering how much of_ _a_ _backwater this world is._

Sure enough, as they entered the pass, a large bear-man thing with a scar over his eye jumped down and landed in front of them. "Oh, that will make a fantastic dinner. Humans give me heartburn, but turtles are a rare delicacy. Hand it over, now!"

"Get off my back, I'll take care of this," Kakarot whispered to Turtle. Turtle nodded and climbed off his back, scampering over to where Bulma had ducked behind a rock. "Who are you to demand anything of me?"

"Kid, you are dead meat! I am the ruler of this land! The dreaded Bear-Thief!" he shouted.

"Oh please, do go on." Kakarot snarked. He drew his power pole out of its case and held it as the Bear-Thief continued his spiel. At the same time, he positioned his tail behind him to use in case he needed to climb the thief's body.

The thief smiled and pointed his sword at Kakarot. He shouted, "the King is far away in his burning castle, he hasn't enforced his rule in this area in a decade! I rule here now. So you should know your place, you damned monkey!"

The moment the final word came out of the thief's mouth, Kakarot's face dropped. He dropped out of his stance and let his Power Pole's front hit the ground. His breathing stilled and his fists tightened, as his body began to shake.

"Aw, what's wrong, little monkey, did I strike a nerve?" the thief taunted. Suddenly, Kakarot looked up at him, rage filling his small eyes.

"SHUT UP!" he screamed, rushing forward. "Power Pole, EXTEND!" Kakarot screamed, swinging it as hard as he could at the thief. It smashed into the side of the thief's head, a resound BOOM shattering through the air. The thief fell to the ground, likely dead, but Kakarot didn't care. He simply picked up the sword and started hacking away at the former thief. "DON'T." smash. "CALL." smash. "ME." smash. "A." smash. "MONKEY!" he jumped in the air and threw the sword as hard as he could at the body. The sword impaled itself in the middle of the largest remaining piece of the body.

Kakarot took a deep breath and looked down at himself. There were a few splatters of blood on his gi, but nothing washing it wouldn't eliminate. _Good. This gi is the only piece of clothing I have with me. I'd rather not walk all the way back to Gohan's just to get another outfit._ Feeling his face, there was no blood on it either, nor was there any in his hair.

He looked back at Bulma and Turtle, only to see them staring at him, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Bulma in particular looked rather terrified. _I guess now she realizes just who she chose to ask to be her bodyguard. Well, not exactly, I guess. If she actually figures out that I'm a Saiyan... I'll teach her how to blast something with her ki. That should be reward enough in that unlikely scenario._

"Come on, we need to move. I doubt he was the only member of his group if he considered himself the 'King.' How much further is it to the sea, Bulma?" Kakarot asked.

* * *

It took a few seconds for Bulma to process the question. The little kid in front of her had just turned a feared bandit into bear-chops, yet here he was asking her how far it was to the ocean like nothing had just happened. What happened to this kid that killing could mean so little to him? _Wait... monkey... didn't Jaco say that he's been trying to hunt down some 'damned monkeys' for like 12 years now? Kakarot is 12... he must be an alien of some kind. Maybe he's what Jaco was looking for._

As these thoughts rushed through her head, she drew her map from her jacket pocket and unfurled it. They were only around five kilometers from the ocean, almost there! Kakarot walked over to her slowly while she was focused on the map. When she put the map down, she saw the boy looking up at her carefully, with an almost worried expression on his face.

"I don't have to go home, right?" he asked. His eyes shone like that of a small child begging for a toy. Bulma sighed. She didn't plan on sending him home, but he didn't need to know that, might as well make him think that she might have. It might encourage him to not be so wanton with the murdering in the future.

"Sure. Just don't go killing people without permission," she replied. Kakarot seemed to think about it for several moments.

"Um... sure," he replied. He picked up Turtle and the two of them began to head up the mountain pass. No further bandits harassed them as they got through the mountains and followed the trail down to the plains. Another hour and they arrived at the dunes at the edge of the water. The Turtle smiled brightly and laughed as he smelled the ocean. Bulma parked her motorcycle and jogged up the sand dunes with Kakarot.

The boy's eyes widened happily as he saw the ocean. He jogged down the hill and let the turtle down onto the sand. Turtle went to the water and turned around to face them.

"You brought me home. Words alone cannot express my gratitude," he said, tears welling up in his eyes. "I insist on giving you a gift, please wait here, I'll return in a short while." Turtle then turned around and swam out into the ocean, out of sight. Bulma sat down in the sand to wait. They had a few more weeks, and they had 3 of the Dragon Balls. _Hmm... maybe strawberries isn't the best plan for a wish... a giant chocolate fountain, maybe? That might be cool._ She looked over at Kakarot only to see him sitting on a rock, drawing in the sand with his 'Power Pole'. He seemed to be writing, but it didn't look like either script commonly used on Earth.

"What are you writing there, Kakarot?" Bulma asked. Kakarot looked up at her and sighed.

"My name," he replied. "This the native script of my people." He dropped the stick to below his previous writing and quickly wrote what she presumed was his name in the logographic script of Earth.

_根 カカロット_

"I'm assuming," Kakarot continued, "that you can read that one." Indeed, Bulma could read that script, it was the most common script used on Earth. It was like asking if the grass was green. But this reignited Bulma's curiosity regarding Kakarot and where he came from. She figured that he had to be an alien, but getting him to open up about where he was from or why he was on Earth would be difficult. She still remembered how sad he had looked the previous evening when she asked about it. She had to approach that topic carefully if she ever intended to learn about it. She tried to think of what questions could get him to talk without triggering whatever caused his sadness. However, as she contemplated, Kakarot pointed out to the ocean.

"The Turtle's coming back! And he has a person on his back!" he called. Bulma looked out to the ocean, but all she saw was a faint silhouette in the distance. In fact, even saying that was stretching the truth a bit.

"How can you see that far, kid?" she asked. He didn't answer. _Welp, that plan's a bust. Oh well, there are other ones. There is always a blueprint, even when one goes wrong._ As the silhouette approached, she could see it clearer; sure enough, it was Turtle and a bald old man with sunglasses, a bright orange beach shirt, and a long beard. Turtle swam up to the beach and the old man hopped off.

"Good Afternoon!" the old man called.

"Um... hi." Bulma replied. She really didn't know what to say to him, after all she had just met the man. He seemed nice enough, but appearances could be deceiving, as her tiny psychopathic companion showed.

"I have to thank you all for saving my Turtle. He's been missing for a while, and I'm a bit less without him." The man explained. "I'm Roshi, the Turtle Hermit." The old man looked down at Turtle. "Which one of these two youngsters helped you?"

Turtle pointed his flipper at Kakarot. "The little boy here," he said. The Hermit nodded and walked up to the little boy.

"I owe you a debt kid. I have a wonderful present for you, to that end," Roshi said. Kakarot looked up at him, then scratched his head with his tail. 

"What kind of present?" he asked. Roshi just stared at him for a moment, as if contemplating something. He seemed to be staring at Kakarot's tail. _Why would he be staring at Kakarot's tail? I mean, yeah, it's weird... but the King of Earth is a blue anthropomorphic cairn terrier. It cannot be any weirder than that._

"Well, just wait and see," he said. He picked up his wooden staff and threw it to the ocean. "Come to me Eternal Phoenix!" he called. The was a very noticeable silence following the call.

Turtle looked up pensively at Roshi. "Um... Master? The Eternal Phoenix died of food poisoning." The staff drooped as the Hermit looked at the turtle.

"Oh right, it did." Everyone promptly face-faulted. _Wait, how did the_ _ **Eternal Phoenix**_ _die of food poisoning?_

The old man stood deep in thought for several long moments, muttering as he did so. "Hmm... I could give him the... no, that's at the cleaners. What about the... hmm... well, if he can use it, it's his." He stood up and called, "Come to me, Flying Nimbus!" Once again, there was silence. Bulma could almost hear the crickets chirping. "Where is that damn cloud?" he muttered. Bulma looked up, and saw a cloud moving a bit different than the others, as it began to grow in size. It grew bigger and bigger, until Bulma realized it was just moving closer to them. The yellow cloud overshot them, then turned around and slowly spiraled around them, coming to a stop next to Roshi. "This is the Flying Nimbus, my Kinto'un. Don't be afraid, she's as sweet as candy."

Kakarot in particular was in awe, staring at the cloud with an expression of wonder. "So, can I eat it, or-"

"You don't eat it, you little... um... boy." Roshi said. "You sit on it and it flies you wherever you want."

Bulma stared at him carefully. "Alright, what's the catch?" Bulma had learned a lesson the hard way, being the heir to the richest man in the world. Nothing comes without a catch, especially something like this.

"You need to have a pure heart to ride on it," Roshi explained. And there it was. "Here, let me show you how it works." He crouched down and jumped onto the cloud. It promptly parted and allowed him to fall on his ass. Kakarot frowned, while Bulma let out a few giggles.

"I guess the wise old hermit isn't so pure himself, huh?" Bulma asked. Kakarot sighed and walked up behind the cloud.

"Whatever. Imma try now," he said. He bounced up and his feet touched the cloud... he managed to stand for a little over a second before falling through it just as Roshi did. Unlike the old man, however, the little boy managed to land on his feet. The boy looked up, frowning. He looked at the Turtle Hermit... and then his eyes brightened a bit. "Hey!" he said pointing at Roshi's chest. "I want that!" Roshi looked down and fiddled with whatever was on his neck. 

"You mean this?" he asked. Bulma couldn't see what they were talking about, she figured he saw a crystal or something that he liked.

"Yes. Since all you seem to have otherwise is a cloud that I can't use."

"Sheesh! Don't blame Nimbus for your own impurity. I certainly don't. If you want this, you can have it." Roshi took off his necklace and handed it to Kakarot, who promptly ran over to Bulma to show what he had received. Bulma almost couldn't believe her eyes- in Kakarot's hands was the Three-Star Dragon Ball. Bulma looked back and forth between the Ball and Kakarot, until she smiled brightly and hugged the little boy. He squirmed a bit, but then finally stopped.

"You got us another Dragon Ball, Kakarot! I guess you were right to help the Turtle. That one's yours," Bulma said. She walked over to her motorcycle and capsulized it, before opening another one, this one with a rounded top, modeled after a recumbent bike's top. "Come on, then. It was a pleasure to meet you, Master Roshi!" Kakarot hopped on the bike behind her, putting the Three-Star Ball around his neck. Bulma hit the throttle and they drove off. As they started to drive, Bulma checked the Dragon Radar- their destination was to the Northwest, they could reach it by the end of the day. It's not like anything could go horribly, horribly wrong there, right?


	4. The Village

 

The moment their bike arrived in the village, Bulma could tell something was wrong. Despite the village having a sizable number of houses, paved roads, and painted signs, it looked like a ghost town. As if they vanished only days ago. She parked the bike and stepped off, looking around.

"You think that bandits abducted the town or something?" she asked. Her small companion curled his tail behind him as he thought.  _That's adorable. He's crazy, but right now I can really tell that he's a kid... it even looks like a question mark!_

"Nah. There're people here." he said. "I saw some shadows moving in that house." Kakarot pointed at the house directly in front of them. Bulma nodded and the two walked forward to the door. She knocked on it lightly.

"Hello? Is anyone home?" Silence. "I know you're in there, I saw you through the window."  _Well, no I didn't, but Kakarot did, and his eyesight is far better than mine._  Still, there was nothing. She didn't even hear a rustle of movement inside the house.  _I really don't have time for this_. Bulma turned to look at Kakarot. "Can you open it?" He nodded. Kakarot walked up to the door and pulled his hand back for a punch- "Hold on!" Bulma said. She quickly pulled out a capsule and opened it, revealing her Walkman and headphones. She quickly tossed on her headphones and pressed the button on her Walkman, motioning for Kakarot to continue as she bobbed her head along to the music.

_**Has he lost his mind?** _

_**Can he see or is he blind?** _

_**Can he walk at all** _

_**Or if he moves will he fall?** _

Bulma looked to see if Kakarot was done yet, but he was just standing there, staring at her. She crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. Unblinkingly, he pointed his palm at the door... and it began to glow. A few seconds later, the glow shot from Kakarot's hand. It hit the door and blew the handle and part of the frame off the wall. Bulma immediately hit the stop button and put her headphones around her neck.

"What the hell was that?!" she shrieked. Kakarot rolled his eyes.

"The future."

"But what  _was_  it?"

"You impress me, and I'll tell you."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" He didn't answer, he simply grabbed the door and pulled it open.

"It means-" Kakarot was interrupted by a loud yell as a man swung an axe at him. Bulma quickly pushed the boy out of the way, but in the aftermath, she felt a sharp pain in her right arm. Looking down, she saw a large gash in her jacket, with blood spurting out.  _Well, that's not good._ Nearly instantly, Kakarot had his Power Pole out and pointing at the man. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" he screamed.

The man charged unfettered. The boy sidestepped the next axe swing. "Power Pole, extend!" he called. The Pole hit the man in the stomach, forcing him to his knees. He attempted another swipe at Kakarot, but the boy simply grabbed the man's wrist, before decking him in the face. The man's hands released the axe and went to his nose, which was now bleeding. Kakarot quickly spun, hitting the man in the back of the head with his Power Pole, sending his face directly into the ground. Kakarot retracted his Power Pole and walked over to the man. Picking up the axe, he held it above him.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't end your life for this offense." The man looked up at him worriedly, saying nothing.

"K-Kakarot!" Bulma called. Kakarot quickly turned to see his companion holding up her arm for him to see. Her blue jacket had a slice in the sleeve, and within he could see deep red blood running out from it rapidly, and dripping onto the ground.

"Shit!" Kakarot tossed the axe into the wall and ran to his companion.

* * *

Once Kakarot had finally gotten Bulma's wound bandaged, she glared at the man, who was scratching his head, clearly ashamed of himself.

"Where the hell do you get off?! You swung an axe at a little boy, and nearly took my arm off! Since all I have are normal bandages, I'm probably going to have a scar there for the rest of my life! Not only that, but you ruined my jacket!" she screamed.

Kakarot giggled. "You know, all scars tell a story. Telling yours has to interest some people."

"You are not helpful right now, kid!" she turned back to the man. "Now, would you mind explaining why you attacked me after spilling your tea?"

The man shook his arms. "I didn't spill my tea! The demon who keeps kidnapping girls from the village calls himself  _Oolong_. He transforms, and I thought you were him!"

_A shapeshifting demon? That's new._ "If you're fighting a shapeshifting demon, I can help," Kakarot offered.

"But Kakarot-" she began.

"No 'buts,' Bulma. Besides, you need to sit here and rest for a bit, you lost a bunch of blood from that wound."

"You would help us?" an old lady at the door said.

"If I was compensated for it, yes."

"What would you want in payment?" Kakarot grabbed the bag he had tied to his sash and pulled out the Three-Star Dragon Ball, holding it out to the woman.

"We're looking for relics that look like this," he said, pointing at the ball. "There are seven of them, we have four so far. We have a radar that tracks them, and it pointed to this village." The old woman fumbled with her pockets, before pulling out another one.

"This what you lookin' for?" she asked. Bulma moved closer to get a better look. Indeed, it was the Six-Star Dragon Ball. Her enthusiasm returned suddenly.

"Yes! Yes it is! In exchange for that, we'll get rid of Oolong for you!" she stated. The villagers gathered and spoke for a bit before seperating again.

"But even if you manage to defeat Oolong... we still don't know where the other girls he took are," the man with the axe said.

Bulma had seemingly already though this through. "The girl, Pochawampa, was it?"

"Pocawatha."

"Right. If he's looking for you, then he'll be looking for your clothes. Can I have them?" Kakarot giggled at Bulma's request.

"Bulma, no offense to you, but this plan is a bust. You're far too big to wear her clothes," he said. Everyone turned and looked at him. Suddenly, Bulma smiled wickedly. Kakarot's face changed to one of confusion. "What?"

* * *

Kakarot had expected her to do something. Something like using Pocawatha as bait. Not dressing him up in the girl's clothes.

"You look absolutely adorable, Kakarot," Bulma said. "Though, your tail is a bit of a dead giveaway." Kakarot sighed, pulling his tail inside the dress, and wrapping it around his waist just like he'd seen his mother do.  _It feels a bit... odd... but I could get used to it eventually. Walking is gonna be a challenge, though._

"You're lucky I'm getting a Dragon Ball for this," he muttered.

"Alright! Now you can get taken away by Oolong, beat him up, then come back here!" Bulma cheered. Suddenly, a man with a shotgun ran up to the door.

"He's here! That bastard Oolong is here!" Bulma quickly sprung into action.

"Everyone, hide in your homes! We'll take care of this!" Everyone obliged, shutting themselves inside. Bulma grabbed Kakarot's hand and walked him outside. "Alright, good luck, Kakarot. I'll find you if you don't come back quickly." She turned around and shut the door.  _Of course, I'm left to do this. Damn it. I would be mad at her, but no one can heal from an injury that fast. But why do I have to be captured? Couldn't I just beat him first, then beat the information out of him? Or if he's a coward, I could just imply I'll beat him up and he should cave._  Suddenly, Kakarot felt heavy footsteps on the ground. He turned his head and saw a large demon man in some kind of formal attire walking with a bouquet of flowers.

"Hello little lady," he said, "I've come for you."  _How to best... I know! I'll quiver and shake! That should imply fear. And explain why I cannot turn around and face him directly._  He began to do just that. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you scared? It must be because of how I look, isn't it? I'll just transform then." A puff of smoke went up around him, and in place of the demon man, there was a human man with the same voice. "I'm actually a very nice guy. Is this okay, or would you prefer a younger man?"

_I really, really don't like this, I really want to just fight this idiot! Wipe that smug grin off his face. If only Bulma could fight, I would love someone to help me teach these idiots a thing or two. Then again, she is pretty smart, she could catch on pretty quick. Well, I guess I could think that up... while I beat up this wanna be casanova!_ Kakarot elbowed Oolong in the gut.  _Damn, that felt good._  He tossed off his disguise and unfurled his tail, kicking Oolong in the stomach and throwing him back.

"You!" Oolong snarled, "you dare deceive me?! Lord Oolong the Terrible?! You're dead meat, kid!" A puff of smoke went up around him with a  **pop**. When the smoke cleared, the finely dressed man was gone, and in his place was a large cow. "I'll kill you, kid!"

"Frankly, I think that's..." Kakarot paused for dramatic effect, "...bullshit." Hearing nothing but crickets chirping, Kakarot just sighed. "Fine. Don't laugh." He put his hand out in front of him. "Now tell me where the girls are, or I'll beat it out of you." His face twisted into a wicked smile. "Personally, I'd much prefer the latter, but I'll give you a chance here."

"Oh, cocky one, are you?" Oolong asked. "Well then I guess I'll have to put the m-" he looked at the clock, and his face turned to one of panic. "H-Hold on one minute!" Oolong yelled, running away at full speed. Kakarot stood flabergasted for a few seconds, before coming to his senses and giving chase to the bull. He ran out the gate behind Oolong... and he was gone. The only thing there was a small anthropomorphic pig in a dark green uniform.

Kakarot ran in all directions and couldn't find him anywhere, so he returned to the village gate, before turning around and shouting, "Oolong! Get back here this instant or I'll turn you into steaks when I find you!" Yet nothing appeared. Kakarot frowned, walking back into the town. Suddenly, a  **pop**  sounded behind him. He turned around, and in front of him was a large suit of armor holding chopsticks and broth.

"You think I'd actually run away, twerp?!" Oolong shouted, "Now surrender or I'll dip you in this broth and eat you!" Kakarot stared at him confused. Then he started laughing. A full, hearty laugh, fully fueled by the fact that this... whatever this thing was... couldn't seem to understand just how outclassed he really was.  _Then again, he probably thinks the same. Time to see._

"So, you ever gonna stop just transforming and fight me already? I'm really bored," he complained. Oolong got flustered and shook his hand, scalding his thumb with the hot broth. He screamed in pain, then glared at Kakarot.

"You... you twerp! I'll end you for this! You won't like me when I'm angry!" Oolong shouted.

"Yeah yeah, can we just fight already?"

"Oh, sonova- YES!" Oolong yelled as he threw a punch at Kakarot in his rage. But Kakarot was already out of the way.

"Wow! You're really weak," Kakarot said. Oolong swung his arm angrily at the boy, but he continued to dodge every swing. Every time Oolong came close to hitting him, the boy moved just enough that he missed. Other times, he just caught his arms. Kakarot wasn't even trying, this was very easy for him.

Suddenly, he was just gone. Oolong looked around but couldn't find him anywhere, before suddenly feeling a slight weight increase on his shoulders and neck. "Like, any of these weaklings could beat you with ease. How the hell did you scare anyone?" Oolong growled and grabbed the kid by the tail and threw him into the air. The boy stared down at Oolong with a glare of pure malice.

Then Kakarot cocked his arm back and swung it, shooting a blast of light from it. The ground in front of Oolong exploded from the impact, causing the creature to scream and jump backwards. Kakarot then drew out his Power Pole and extended it to the ground, using it as a recoil. He flew feet first into Oolong's head, smashing into it with a sound like that of a gong.

He dropped to the ground and grabbed Oolong's wrist, holding it in a vice grip. "Now," he said, "tell me where the girls are."

"And if I refuse?" Oolong replied. Kakarot's eyes seemingly lit up.

"Have you ever heard of Beowulf?" Oolong shuddered and began to shake. Just as suddenly tears pooled in the eye slots and water began to gush out.

"Please, don't hurt me anymore! I'll tell you, I'll tell you!" he sputtered.  _This guy is pathetic. Oolong the Terrible? More like Oolong the Terri **fied**._  Kakarot loosened his grip slightly.

"And? I'm waiting."

"They're... They're..." A  **pop**  sounded and the suit of armour was gone. In its place was the anthropomorphic pig that Kakarot had seen earlier.

"Wait...  _you're_  Oolong?" Kakarot asked, dumbfounded. He just couldn't believe that the person terrorizing this town was this tiny thing. Kakarot looked up from Oolong, keeping a tight grip on the pig's wrist. "Hey! I beat Oolong, you can come out now!" Slowly, the villagers and Bulma filed out of the houses and gathered around the two. All were surprised to see that the demon who had terrorized them for so long was a small pig. After everyone finished gawking, Kakarot looked Oolong dead in the eyes.

"You will lead us to the girls. If you turn into an ant and try to escape, I'll crush you. Then, when your broken carcass turns back to normal, I'll chop you up and turn you into bacon." Oolong gulped and nodded. Oolong led them through the plains and off the road a small ways. Within minutes, they reached an elaborate palace. Bulma walked up next to Kakarot and Oolong and looked at the two of them.

"So," she said pointing at Oolong, "what's with the PLA uniform?" Oolong looked at her side-eyed.

"They're easy to find. There are literally millions of them," he replied. The villagers all surged towards the palace and raced inside, calling out for their daughters. However, when they arrived, they found their daughters, one was leaning against the wall staring off, one was in exercise clothes, and the third was sitting on a lounge chair sipping a smoothie. As it turned out, Oolong had wanted a timid girl, or at least one who wasn't so demanding.  _I guess you don't always get what you're looking for in life. Oh well. I still want a sidekick, though._ Kakarot sighed.  _I just wish there was another Saiyan on this planet that_ **isn't**  my mother.

 

 


	5. The Desert Bandit

After several days of slowly traveling west, Gine checked her scouter again, to find that she was only a few hundred units away. She continued travelling slowly, hoping to not alert the creature to her presence. Getting closer, she saw a figure in the sky. She flew up closer until she could get a good view of them. Seeing the figure, Gine felt her heart stop.  _What?! But... but how? He... he said they were all dead! No... he wouldn't have lied! Not about this! But... the evidence is right in front of me... why?! Why would he lie to me?!_

Gine floated up behind them, who seemed to be searching for something on the ground. Once she was as close as she dared, she cleared her throat. The figure before her inhaled sharply, and turned around slowly to look at her. Her eyes were wide as saucers, her body seemed to be shaking, and the hair on her tail stood up on end. "Hello, Seripa."

Seripa stared back at her in disbelief. "G-Gine? But... I thought you died when Frieza blew the planet up!" she stammered, but then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "So, you survived. Did... did Bardock-"

"No, he died leading the army against Frieza," Gine said sadly. "He was the only one able to lead the army; King Vegeta made him Lord General for the final attack. I escaped during the battle, with all the info I could download." she admitted.

Seripa stared at her. "How much?"

"The Royal Archives and clan files, information on PTO forces, patrol routes, all the blueprints available, and the frequency for Code 79." Seripa's eyes brightened.

"That's great news, Gine. Maybe we aren't doomed here, after all." she said, returning her eyes to the ground. "What about your children?"

"I don't know where Raditz is. He's still alive, though. He was off world, and he was in Prince Vegeta's household. He's probably out there with the Prince and Nappa," Gine sighed. "Kakarot, on the other hand, is here on Earth with me. He's off searching for orange orbs with red stars." Suddenly, she recalled something. "Wait, so if you're here, that mean Surai is, too! Where is she?"

"Surai? She's up in Orange Star City, she lives at an orphanage. I wouldn't bother, though," Seripa frowned. "She hit her head when she was young, and lost her memory. Because of me, she knows her real name is Surai, but she doesn't use it. She uses the earthling name 'Micaela.' She's not in any shape to fulfill her obligation."

"Why haven't you been getting her back in shape, then?" Gine demanded.

"I've had... other concerns," she replied. Seripa pointed down at at the ground, where there were a great many bushes near a forest. "What do you see?"

"A bunch of bushes on the edge of the forest."

"Anything else?"

"Come on Seripa, it's not like you to be philosophical. You were always the no-nonsense chick. I guess that comes from being Second Class. I was the idealistic engineer that always needed to be bailed out of trouble. What's going on?"

She shushed Gine and pointed back at the bushes. "Look now!" she whispered. Gine looked down... and saw one of the bushes rustling. The bushes continued to rustle, then stopped. Moments after the rustling stopped, a small head poked up from the bushes. The person climbed out of the bushes, holding a handful of berries. They sat down and began eating them. Gine looked back at Seripa and saw a happy smile on her face. Turning quickly back to the person, she focused on them intensely. Looking carefully, Gine realized that it was a small girl, no more than eleven or twelve at most. She had pitch black hair that went partways down her back, though she couldn't tell the girl's eye colour.

"Seripa, who is that?" Gine asked. Seripa looked at her, the smile not leaving her face for an instant.

"My daughter." she replied.

* * *

 R&R

* * *

His head flew forward into the back of the seat, and Kakarot awoke from his nap. His sleep wasn't haunted by nightmares, and he was actually a bit happy for it. Or at least, he was until this bumpy trip. Their destination was up the river, so Bulma had used a capsule to conjure up a boat. Of course, she had trouble driving, since she could only use her left arm completely. He also had to make sure she changed her bandage every time she took a dip or something, and had just started keeping the 'First Aid Kit,' as she called it, in his gi pocket.

  
"Hey, Kakarot!" Bulma called. "We're out of gas, could you use your Power Pole to push us to shore there!" She pointed at a small shoreline with a tree on the waterfront. Kakarot nodded and complied, pushing the boat to shore and tying it up. Standing on the shore, Kakarot assisted Bulma in getting out of the boat. "Well, it's nice to be back on solid ground! Five days on a river is quite annoying!" She reached into her pocket, then her face blanched.  _Uh oh._  Bulma suddenly screeched. "My capsules are gone! Damn it, I must have dropped them in the river!"

Kakarot was completely unmoved. "So... we walk." Bulma looked back at him annoyed, then realized he wasn't kidding.

"I'm not accustomed to walking!" Bulma yelled. Despite her protests, the two set off towards the next Dragon Ball. For a while, Bulma walked without complaining... then the grassy plains and forests gave way to a rocky desert with jagged rocks and pillars scattered around. At which point, the complaining went though the roof. Thankfully, Bulma kept walking, and didn't collapse to the ground and start complaining like a spoiled five year old.

After they had walked for several hours, Bulma walked to one of the rocks and sat down in the shade. "I'm gonna rest here for a few minutes," she said, before promptly passing out. Once she was asleep, Kakarot carefully grabbed her right arm and laid it over her chest, to keep her bandage off the ground. He then stood up and walked around the rock and looked out at the vast expanse of land.

"What am I doing?" he asked himself. "I'm supposed to kill everyone on this planet, but here I am helping a female earthling find a bunch of mystical artifacts. I haven't killed anyone since that damned bandit." Kakarot sat down crosslegged and closed his eyes.  _Maybe if I meditate on it, I can make some sense out of it._

 

\--R&R--

  
Standing on a clifftop across the way, Yamcha watched the small boy meditate for several minutes, before smiling and decending to the ground below. This was going to be the easiest job he'd had in years. Uncapsulizing his flying scooter, he hopped on and drove to the boy, his best friend Puar glued to his leg the whole time.

When he got close, he deliberately braked to the side to blow dust in the boy's face. When the dust cleared, a very annoyed child was staring at Yamcha. "Yo," he called to the boy, who simply kept a straight, scowling face.

"Who the hell are you?" the child demanded.

"I'm Yamcha," he replied with a nonchalant shrug. "Money. Capsules. Now." Yamcha turned his scabbard to the boy, hoping to intimidate him.

The boy blinked. "Why?"

Yamcha was dumbstruck at this kid. "Um, I'm robbing you," he explained. The boy's face cleared up, and then he pulled out the pole on his back.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go with 'no'. How about you turn around and run back into whatever hole you crawled out of?" 

Yamcha grinned. He loved putting the cocky ones in their place. He tossed his scabbard in the air to distract him, then charged, sword bared.

 

\--R&R--

  
Kakarot watched Yamcha charge forward, jumping over him at the last minute. He glared down at the bandit, gripping his pole like a bat and swinging it at the side of Yamcha's head. In his panic, Yamcha brought up the sword to block the attack, then swung his one arm back and punched the boy in the stomach. The boy flew back through the air for a few seconds, before twisting himself and landing safely on the ground.

Kakarot took a deep breath, then pointed the end of the pole at Yamcha. "Power Pole, extend!" The pole extended quickly and hit Yamcha in the stomach. The shock caused Yamcha to drop his sword, and Kakarot took advantage of this to send it pinwheeling into the distance with a swing of the Power Pole. Yamcha managed to find his feet again and stand back up facing the boy.

"Kid! Where did you get that pole?" Yamcha asked.

"My Master gave it to me before he died." 

Everything clicked into place for Yamcha. "I see. Was his name Son Gohan?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"He was a master of martial arts, on a level that few have ever reached. If you were truly his student, I will consider it an honour to defeat you!" Yamcha got into his stance and pulled back his arm to his breast. He took a deep breath and charged Kakarot.

"Wolf Fang Fist!" he yelled.

"Wolf Fang wha-" Kakarot began, but was interrupted by a kick to the face from Yamcha. This was followed by a combination of punches to his face and a thrust by both of Yamcha's palms, sending Kakarot flying through a bunch of rocks, and burying him under a pile of rubble. Yamcha clapped his hands, revelling in his job well done. He looked down to to his side and picked up the Power Pole, he'd probably be able to sell it for a good price, after all.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake. The rubble in the distance began shifting quickly, before being blown away by a flash of purple. The boy stepped out from where the rubble was, his face twisted into one of pure rage. "Alright, you ass. I thought this would be an interesting fight, but you know what? All you did was piss me off. So, now, you can die!" A purple glow began to surround him. 

Kakarot was totally bluffing, though. He didn't know how to use this attack properly, and it would probably go horribly wrong. But it still was the only thing he could do now. He focused on gathering his ki in around himself as much as he could. Yamcha was just staring at him, looking absolutely shellshocked. He smiled and released some more energy, then everything suddenly went dark.

The moment the boy passed out, the energy around him exploded in all directions, sending out purple beams that cut through the stone like a hot knife through butter. After several close calls, Yamcha was forced to abandon the Power Pole and retreat on his bike. Thankfully, Puar had retrieved his sword in the mean time.  _I will get him!_  Yamcha swore.

* * *

 R&R

* * *

  
When Bulma came to, the landscape had changed. Many of the rocks were now rubble, and...  _Oh shit, where's Kakarot?_  She stood up and looked around for her small companion, before spotting him lying on the ground. Bulma raced over to look at him. He was covered in bruises, and had several cuts on his body. She was horrified. Oolong hadn't even put a scratch on him, yet here he was, lying on the ground, looking like he'd just lost a bar fight.  _What kind of asshole beats up a small child like this... and who would be strong enough to do so to Kakarot of all people?_


End file.
